


Stay Close

by Dare_To



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Hasetsu, M/M, Self-Harm, VictUuri, Vikturi, Yuri on Ice - Freeform, viktuuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-05
Updated: 2017-04-05
Packaged: 2018-10-15 00:03:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10546618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dare_To/pseuds/Dare_To
Summary: (Warning! Self harm!!!)Yuuri grabbed at the bottom of his shirt, lifting his arms to pull it off when one of his cuts began to burn again, split open from the new position. Yuuri flinched and gasped, immediately reminded of the injury."Yuuri? I can massage the tension out, if it's that bad," Victor looked at Yuuri with his soft blue eyes. It was so hard to resist running into his arms and crying on his shoulder."I don't feel up for a bath," Yuuri's voice shook and he struggled to hold back his tears.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not a very successful (or good) writer, but I hope you enjoy this anyway! (I tried)

  
 Katsuki Yuuri sighed into his pillow, attempting to ease the tension building up in his system. It helped for a moment, but almost immediately after his stomach retied itself into tight knots and tears brimmed on the edges of his eyes. 

_Victor is going to leave me, isn't he? Can't blame him. I'd leave me too. In fact, I bet all this time he's just been putting up with me because he felt too sorry for you to go back home. I'm the one keeping him from the ice and his fans. He hates me, doesn't he?_

"No," Yuuri mumbled, his breathing becoming shakier. The world was closing in on him. He was gasping for air, desperately trying to swim above the deep waters that drowned him. He rubbed his eyes and sat up, attempting to calm himself and ignore the thoughts racing through his head. 5am. He'd need to be ready for training in an hour. There was only one way he knew of to calm himself in that time. There was no other choice in this situation.  

The boy's feet hit the floor in his bedroom with a light thud. He dropped to his knees, feeling around under his mattress for something. When he'd reached it, he wavered slightly, reminded of the other times he'd picked it up. The last one was the night he had returned to Hasetsu. Trapped in his own racing thoughts about his future and Vicchan, he'd used the object to relieve him for a while. After all, there were no other distractions that worked quite so well. That was before Victor came. 

Yuuri stood up and slowly made his way to the bathroom, becoming more desperate for relief with every step.

_Victor should leave. I'm not worth his time._

His breathing came in ragged pants as the anxiety started to consume him, shutting out all rational thought. He locked the door to the bathroom behind him, closing out the rest of the world as he dropped to his knees, silently sobbing and shaking.

_If I just had the courage to end it now, Victor could go back home. He could go back to skating and be happy again. He won't have to put up with me any longer._

The object in his hand glinted under the light of the bathroom. He wiped the blood from previous uses off of the side of it. Yuuri brought it up to his skin, not even thinking twice about what he was doing. His mind was clouded. Consequences weren't exactly the first thing he thought about.

  
_And I had gone so long without it..._ _oh well._ He dug the blade into his arm, over and over and over again for what felt like hours until the emotional pain had subsided, replaced with numbness, the distraction of stinging and the flow of blood. He couldn't be bothered to clean up, he only pushed the blade back under his mattress and threw himself onto his bed.

_What's the point. Everyone would be happier without me, anyway. I wouldn't have to be a burden anymore._

There was a scratch at his door.  
Yuuri flinched, instinctively covering his arm with a blanket before realizing it was only Makkachin. He dragged his feet and opened the door for the poodle who immediately ran to him, sensing something was wrong. Yuuri broke down once more, holding the dog closely and wishing that he could disappear.  
~~  
"Yuuri?"  
Startled out of his sleep, the boy blinked to clear the fuzziness from his eyes and looked above him. There Victor stood, watching him inquisitively. "Why are you on the ground?" 

_Shit!_

Yuuri suddenly remembered everything that had happened the night before and felt a jolt of panic. ** _He was wearing short sleeves_**. Thankfully, Makkachin had laid her head over the worst of it, and the rest was hidden from Victor's sight by her body.  
"Well, I..." Yuuri desperately struggled to come up with an excuse. Victor looked down at him gently.  
"We have training, remember? You should get ready," He winked before heading off to his room to get changed.  
Yuuri sighed in relief, thanking Makka and closing the door to his room. The panic of the night before still hadn't quite subsided. He was fidgety and ultra-aware of everything going on around him. Glancing down at his arm, he realized he had done far more damage than intended. It stung even though he wasn't touching it, and it was covered in blood and even bruises. In the haze of fatigue and panic, he hadn't held back. He was paying the price for that now.  
The boy pulled a loose fitting long sleeve shirt over his head and made a mental note to clean his arm after practice.  
~~

"Yuuri, let's take a bath! You must be sore, so we should hurry," Victor had worked Yuuri to his limits and wasn't wrong in saying that he was sore. The onsen was number one on his list of priorities.  
"Alright," Yuuri smiled at the older man's enthusiasm, struggling to keep up as he was dragged behind Victor (who had already ripped his shirt off). It wasn't a busy night, and it was quite late. The onsen was closed, but being part of the family, Yuuri had access whenever he wanted. Upon entering, he quickly grabbed robes and towels for the two of them and sat them next to where Victor was kicking his pants off enthusiastically. Yuuri grabbed at the bottom of his shirt, lifting his arms to pull it off when one of his cuts began to burn again, split open from the stretched skin. Yuuri flinched and gasped, immediately reminded of the injury.

"Yuuri? I can massage the tension out, if it's that bad," Victor looked at Yuuri with his soft blue eyes. It was so hard to resist running into his arms and crying on his shoulder.

"I don't feel up for a bath," Yuuri's voice shook and he struggled to hold back his tears. 

"Are you alright?" Victor took on a more serious tone.

The boy turned to run away, longing for the security and privacy of his room, when a warm hand grabbed onto his left arm- the damaged one- tightly. 

Yuuri cried out, tears spilling down his cheeks. Victor had let go of his arm in shock. Yuuri looked back once more, a panicked expression on the older skater's face, before running into his room and slamming the door behind him. He slid down against the door until he was seated, and immediately he began to panic. He trembled and sobbed, thoughts flying through his mind faster than he could ever articulate them.

 _He's going to know now, isn't he? Then he'll be afraid of me. He'll leave, terrified of the monster who did this to himself._

Yuuri rubbed the tears from his eyes and struggled to breathe in between sobs.

 _Victor won't want to put up with someone as fragile as I am. He'll see how weak I truly am and go home. I wish I never wasted his time. I should've warned him. I could've told him to go when he first arrived._

There was a very soft knock at Yuuri's door. "May I come in?"

 _No. The last person I want to see right now is him._  
When Yuuri didn't answer, Victor spoke again.

"Yuuri, I'm concerned about you. You've been acting a bit off lately, and I want to make sure you're alright. Please let me in. I- I want to be here for you."

The boy took a deep breath and stood up. He wiped his eyes, and opened his door.

God, he's beautiful.  
Victor hadn't put his shirt back on, his hair was dishelved and his pants weren't even buttoned. He had a worried expression on his face and his cheeks were flushed. He smiled when he saw Yuuri. Gently, he took the boy's hand and led him to the bed, sitting down on it and beckoning the younger man to join him. Yuuri climbed on to the bed and sat down, avoiding Victor's eyes. The older skater noticed this, and lifted Yuuri's chin until the boy was looking at him. His eyes were drenched in worry. He waited for Yuuri to speak first. 

Awkwardly the boy kept silent, pulling the sleeve on his left arm down out of habit- wrong move- he soon realized. 

Before Yuuri had a chance to react, Victor grabbed his left hand and pulled the sleeve up.

Yuuri's eyes widened and his pulse raced. He surveyed Victor's face for a reaction.   
 

At first, he was in shock. His breathing stopped and he froze. After what felt like an eternity, Victor spoke.  
"D- did you do this-" Victor's voice cut out as tears began to spill down his cheeks. A faint sob escaped his lips. "I'm sorry.." Victor's tears burned Yuuri's cuts.  
"It's not your fault," Yuuri choked out. "I..." he was at a loss for words. His lip trembled as he felt beads of warmth escape his eyes.  
Victor looked up at Yuuri, his face looked ugly for once. Yuuri was quite satisfied with this.

Victor took Yuuri's face in his hands and leaned in, reaching the boy's lips with his own. Time stopped. This was unexpected. Warmth bubbled up from Yuuri's toes to the tips of his ears, and he froze. Victor was warm. Yuuri clung to that warmth. He clung to this moment. He clung to this happiness. He clung to Victor, the way he felt, the fulfillment as if his entire life led up to this one moment. He felt full and complete, as if he had found a piece of him that he didn't know he'd lost. 

Victor pulled away to speak. 

"Yuuri, I love you. I have for a long time, actually." He laughed a bit nervously. "I can't bare to see you like this. And to think.." 

Yuuri bit his lip. This was a nice surprise. Slowly his worry faded away, as did the built up panic from the days before.

"I love you too."

Makkachin jumped onto the bed, snuggling into the warmth of her new dad. Victor laughed.

"She's welcoming you to the family," Yuuri smiled at this. Not a pathetic half-smile, but a full blown, truly happy sign of peace.

Victor took Yuuri's left arm and brought it up to his lips. "Stay close, please."

Yuuri smiled and hummed in satisfaction and agreement.

"I promise."

This was going to be a good season.


End file.
